I am crazy busy with school, I graduate in 50ish days...I can not wait...I am SO OVER school...but since graduation, college graduation, is upon me, the question "what am I going to do" is a constant one I ask myself.
The truth.
I have no idea, and it scares the mess out of me. I feel deep down that I am made for more that just some 9-5 job, or part time job holder, I was made for more...I just know it.
But knowing it, and proving it are two completely different things. Two things that are separated by one thin line called chance. Chance is what I need to take in order to move on to the next step. The problem with chance is that its such a risk. How will it turn out? Will I fail? Will I look like a fool? or Will I succeed? Will I shift this world for something greater? As I sit here and blog this, I am experiencing goosebumps all over me, because I KNOW that what I am saying is true. The other problem I am facing is okay so I am called to do more...but what? What am I suppose to do. I love so many things, but I am not in love and super passionate about just one particular thing. I feel like a mess. I envy people, like my sister, that have it all figured out. She went to college, went to nursing school, graduated, is an RN, and now a mom, and pretty much seems to have it all figured out. I can't even decide where to apply after I receive my degree...much less imagine being a mom one day. I love kids and want kids, but I am not in a place where I can raise a child..I feel I have nothing to teach them yet.
Does any of this make since?
Am I sounding crazy? I promise I'm not...just a girl stuck in the body of a 23 year old with the mind of what seems to be a 18 year old senior in high school. UGH
Nevertheless, when I figure out what to do with my life, I will be great at it, and I will succeed. That I know to be an absolute fact.
You can bet on that folks.
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