Gut Feeling

Christmas Eve came around, and I began to become EXTREMELY sad that I wasn't with my family, and by extremely sad I mean, the ugly cry. I got so sad that we left chilies after not even eating, packed up our clothes and presents in five minutes flat, and headed to the gas station.

All the while, I knew in  my spirit that we didn't need to go. I had this deep feeling that we needed to stay here in Kansas City this Christmas, and to be honest, I was pretty upset with myself for making such a huge deal out of leaving. 

I felt like a fool, and an embarrassment all wrapped up into one. Pretty much a hot mess burrito. So I apologized to my husband, I apologized to my family, I apologized to my pastor (I told him we wouldn't be at church), and I kept apologizing to my husband. <- He's such a good man. 

We came home, unpacked, baked cookies, gave Bentley a haircut, and watched a Christmas movie. Then we called all of JW's cousins and told them we were having a game night at our house on Christmas night, and they all HAD to come. 

So Christmas night comes, and everyone came. We played tons of games until midnight. Then something amazing happened. We started talking about God. JW's cousins were not raised in church, they are great people, but with out Christ, is being absent from Christ, and all of His blessings. We were up talking about all things God until 3:00am. 

There was a moment in the middle of our three hour conversation, that I realized, this is the entire reason I got the gut feeling, not to go to Texas. I felt so happy that I listened to the Holy Spirits nudge in my heart that day. 

I don't know if any of his cousins and their kids, and boyfriend/girlfriends gave their heart to God later that night, but I do know, that it was a definite seed. 

The entire experience was even better when they were leaving, and they said lets hang out again Wednesday night. (To anyone that is in ministry and your family is not, you know why this made us feel so great.) We were so excited they didn't feel "preached" at. They brought up the subject of God, they were asking the questions, they were at full attention for three hours, and I pray that their hearts were softened, and even accepting to God. 

JW and I talked after they left, and I just kept telling him that I wanted to make a huge effort, while speaking with them about God, that God is love. He calls us to love, He doesn't call us to judge, and point fingers, He calls us to love, and to share His love with others. I feel as though so many "non-Christians" feel that all Christians do, is judge, and I wanted to make that very clear, that there was no judgement on them, through us. That we love them, God loves them, and ultimately has an extraordinary plan for each of their lives. 

Listen to the nudge of the Holy Spirit. He will never lead you in the wrong direction.